I pondered on a scene from the movie “A Long Walk to Freedom”. In the scene Nelson Mandela’s daughter came to visit him for the first time. He had not seen her since she was a little girl. She said something to the effect of “I do love you even though I don’t know you that well”. It made me think about my grandparents, my mother and then my daughter. I asked myself how well I know my grandmother, her beliefs, convictions, joys, sorrows or her story. I often dwell on fond memories of her, but did I really know the real her. I could certainly answer yes, simply because she didn’t wear a mask with me. She showed me her strengths, vulnerabilities, beliefs & her story.
I asked myself the same question about my mother and I could not say the same. I know of her but I don’t really know who she is as a person. I don’t know her story and somewhere along the way I stopped caring or trying to know. I went deeper and asked could my daughter say the same of me. Does she know the real me? Does she know my beliefs, my fears, my convictions, my triumphs, my joy, my peace? Do I let her see me? Do I allow her to be seen? Do I truly know her as well? Does anyone truly know me? The answer is no.
I haven’t been seen since 1989. It’s the year I lost my sense of peace. It was the year I learned to be invisible. It was the birthing of my anger and resentment. I discovered I was alone in my family in 1989. The real me attempted to make appearances periodically throughout the years. Every time I appeared I was met with unfavorable responses, which further deepened my resentment. The truth is I trained myself to never be fully seen again as a way of coping. I’ve recently come to realize that it is not serving me well and only continues to build resentment in me. I’ve tried to get to the root of my uneasiness and anger for over 15 years. I never quite understood it until today.
I’ve been in prison attempting to regain my freedom through anger, when the truth is peace is the only way. Every great leader and self-actualized person has come to this awakening at some point along their journey. It’s why Jesus taught it, Gandhi embraced it Martin Luther King practiced it and Nelson Mandela followed it. You can never truly be seen or heard by the heart without it. Isn’t that really what everyone is searching for? Could peace usher in a new era within humanity? Could it end our fears and minimize our pain? Could it heal the brokenness in our youth? Can peace awareness further develop our civilization? I believe it can and already has. All it needs is more microphones; the microphone of the heart.
Peace is the antidote to fear in any type of situation. Peace allows me to see and be seen. Peace amplifies my voice. Now I can be known my daughter can finally meet her mother. Resentment has been eradicated. I traded inner anger for inner peace. The real me has been set free. Now I can step forward and realize the divine vision within me. Peace is the catalyst to deliver us at the doorstep of unconditional love.